Friday, January 21, 2011

Wax Your Kooka, Bitch!



When it comes to grooming, there are few things I hate more than bush. I know it's all anti-feminist and shit and against the whole I Am Every Woman, Hear Me Roar. That's good for you, but I don't wanna hear the roar through your epic mane of pubic hair. I know some guys don't care, I know some do. Quite frankly if they're at the point where they're privy just to see your bush or lack they're of, they're happy campers. But for me, I give a damn about my presentation okay?

I love bikini waxing.It just feels better. There is nothing like walking out of the spa with a fresh wax. You can feel everything, it's like a walking orgasm. If you don't feel like the sexiest thing strolling out of there, something is wrong with you. You feel sexier. You do. Just knowing you got your shit together under your skivvies makes you want to show the world. You can wear the skimpiest panties flawlessly. It just looks good. Plus it eliminates the threat of pubic floss. It isn't fun. It just isn't. Half of you are messing around with little boys who are just looking for every excuse not to eat the cat. Why give those bitches a reason not to? But those boys are silly and should be dismissed. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The boys better be shaved, waxed, or trimmed if you want me to be a happy campter. It's only polite to show you the same courtesy. Plus just look at these panties. You owe it to yourself and your kooka.





You want this to be you. Not the fact your one night mouth fuck has a girlfriend. But you want your nana to be easy access for whatever should so happen, whether it's a light fondling or some tonguing. I myself am partial to the Brazilian. Take it all baby. And my god, do they get it all. They'll have you in positions you could have sworn you and your bae tried last week, "Put my leg where? I think this is the wheelbarrow, ma'am."



Fellas, don't think you're off the hook. Like I said, it will be a cold day in hell before I even attempt fellash if you're rolling like Chewbacca. Take a look at this man right here. Look at that shit. What a gentleman. This is a photo of a guy who get's laid often. He is about his shit.

Obviously, we can't always shell out the duckets for steady waxing appointments and sometimes waxing isn't for everyone. Whatever the reason, there is no excuse not to keep your pubes in shape, I need for you to make nice with the Schick Quattro Trim Style. It is quick, you can do it at home in the shower, and you can get really low and close to the skin. A freshly trimmed snatch is always pleasant and a great default between waxing. Try a low cut Ceaser and keep it moving till your next appointment. Then you can vajazzle that shit till the sun comes home.


16 tastes:

♥ Ms. Kendall ♥ said...

Landing strip is the way to go!! I approve of this post!
XoXO

Vicky said...

A vote for the Brazilian (aka the Hollywood in the UK) In fact that's where I'm off to right now - the beauticians, not Hollywood. Or Brazil.

I'm not a fan of body hair on myself - except on my head - it's just sweaty and messy and itchy and yuk.

Great post, great blog, love your Tumblr :-)

Anca said...

preach

harrietalice said...

love this post. hair is so not on, i agree vicky. hollywood forever!

petitsjoiesdelavie.blogspot.com

Amanda said...

you should make a tutorial of how to do it at home!

♔Mimilainna said...

@Kendall The Landing Strip is a good choice!

@Vicky Oh the Hollywood? That sounds like a fun name for it. I hate body hair too.

♔Mimilainna said...

@anca ;)

@harrietalice thanks, babe

@amanda I know a lot of women wax at home, but idk how intricate. I'd prefer to go to a place. Hot wax is dangerous especially if you're not at the best angles to do it.

TheDailey said...

Haha I loved this post!! Soo true. I mostly have always just gotten rid of all of it, but lately I've been doing the landing strip. Being that I dance, I always have to keep groomed.. I don't like hair like that anyway, on women or men :]

mr. smut said...

AMEN AMEN AMEN.

everyone needs to take care of their biz down there. jesus. 21st century and all that jazz people!!!!

echolalia said...

This is a great post! People should keep themselves groomed. I don't wanna be in the jungle. The Brazilian and The Landing Strip are the way to go.

CotteonSmooth said...

*Thumbs Up* Well needed! Ladies(and fellas too apparently) take notes!

Vito said...

I approve of this post. Hair carries odors. Odors make my penis soft. Wax that shit and spray it with something that smells like vanilla.

Ellebelle said...

As long as its not a bush, Im not really bothered by it, however a neatly trimmed vag is always nice =P

Anonymous said...

Omg! I've been wanting to get a Wax down there but I'm afraid of the freaking pain! How bad does it hurt??
Love the post btw

Anonymous said...

I have yet to try a brazilian but I plan on it for an upcoming vacay!... and as far as dudes, when guys are FULLY shaved it kinda creeps me out. It either reminds me of being a pedo or makes me wonder if the guy is a manwhore...

Riley said...

omg i just adore your blog. it's so raw and real. ...i love it