Play On Playa, But You Ain't Playin Me

Last night i had a dream I was dating Steven Straight. But he was Steven playing the role of Warren Peace from Sky High. I was about to leave for vacation and I went to go see him at the local Sonic. I brought him a going away present, said I'd miss him, and asked if he missed me. He said, "Nah, you know I'mma player babe." I said ok took my shit, hopped out the car and left.

I woke up shocked as hell, because not only has that not happened to me, it NEVER WOULD happen to me. I don't go see men and I do not give them presents. But more importantly, I have never been into or hung up on a man who wasn't into me. Ever, I'm just not hardwired that way, baby. I will never hound a man, call his ass up all the time. If I'm slightly interested and you're not, I forget you and move a long.

Ladies. Come on now. There are few things I can't stand more that seeing a Desperate Debbie. I'm not gonna get into the whole "you're worth better, be classy" shit. Cause some of you aren't. But you can at least ACT like you are. Chivalry ain't dead, but many women worthy of it are. I mean DAMN, don't you ever let me see you bringing a nigga anything. Don't be throwin' your pussy into any guys face, either. Especially one that isn't into you. That's what gets me, I don't get that shit at all. You don't even like me and you think we're gonna BONE. Get the fuck outta here.

You give a man the chance to fuck, he will always fuck. 10 times out of 10. 100% of the time. Every day. Anywhere. He will fuck whatever lets him fuck. You're interchangeable, honey. He doesn't care who you are. So long as you let him smash.

I know I know, you really like that dude, you think fuckin is gonna get you somewhere. Nope. The rules of dating are as follows. One must not like the other party more than the other party likes them. Each party must move with synchronization.

You have to slowly match each other till you reach the middle and then once you're both head over heels for each other, its all good. If you don't, this is what happens.

Girls, you'll be all hung up and sprung and be trying to do everything but wipe this dudes ass for a little attention. But to the guy you're only good for three things. Sex. Food. Place to Stay. You're already giving him everything he wants. Why should he take the time and get to know you? And once you're there, the harder it'll be for them to ever look at you different. Once a pushover always a pushover.

Dudes, don't think I'm not talking to you too. They always say nice guys finish last because nice guys don't make moves. The fact is no one likes someone all over them from jump. You give off that crazy stalker vibe.

Men, girls will use you for your money and use you to make the men they're really interested in jealous. Girls are players too. Keep that in mind. Here are some closing words from out guest editor, Erica.

There's one thing that has always amazed me about men. I've always understood the player type: you can usually spot them easily and they've pretty much been upfront about their intentions ...but... the one's that don't THINK they're a player but do the SAME shit, that's who I have the real problems with. Men try to play dumb. They play like they don't know that they're doing stupid shit, or that they just didn't realize what was going on. They knew. Men lie. They may not be very good at it, but they do. What amazes me is that they really try to play stupid. I'm like, "HELLO?! *waves frantically* I KNOW you know what you just did was retarded? You didn't catch that yourself? C'mon son. Really?"

Sirs, remember basic shit: (1) break up with her if you don't like her (2) if you're just trying to keep your dick wet, say so... most of us [women] will/would respect you for being honest (3) don't try to be something you're not [specifically if you're a good guy, don't go trying to be a playa because you think it's the new hotness and it's what cool kids do... well it's not, so we off that.]

So... if you do player shit and you think you're a good guy, no. Stop trying to be a gazelle when you're a tiger. That is all folks. Carry on.

Over and Out